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| Barfing the Light Fantastic
As I was a somewhat introverted kid, I rarely participated in school activities unless required. I always had an interest in science, however, so in high school I decided to join the radio club. This was unusual as clubs go because there wasn't a radio to be found. The teacher was a part time electrician. He wasn't even a radio operator. Go figure. We all worked on our pet projects and had a lot of fun along the way.
Our school required that all clubs sponsor at least one general school activity each year. These were usually debates, field trips, or the ever popular dance. Our teacher told us that he was under pressure to get us more involved in the school community. After meager turn outs for a field trip to a power station and a television station the previous years, we were doing a dance. This was not an obvious choice for us as we were all geeks and nerds. We scratched our heads and eventually got an idea. At the time strobe lights were becoming popular...so that was it, a strobe dance.
The dances were always held in the field house , an enormous space, so, we figured that we would need a very powerful light. We went to a surplus store with our meager budget. It turned out to be an unusual design. We bought a 10,000 watt runway landing light. We cut an opening in the bottom with a spinning disk with a hole in it over the opening which would blink the light. It was incredibly bright, and worked well in the shop.
The night of the dance, the box was hoisted into the rafters. There was a huge turnout. The room blinked from black to piercing bright to the beat of a live band. Everyone was dancing and having a good time. We were pleased with our work, rather prematurely. After about an hour, we noticed various kids going outside briefly, only to return shortly thereafter. When we checked into it, we found that everyone was getting so sick from the contrast of the strobe that they were barfing all over the outside steps! So the radio club had the dubious distinction of a front page article in the school paper. The headline described the dance as "Barfing the Light Fantastic."
Whatever happened to you that backfired?
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| Border Patrol When we got married, as I have described previously, the homestead had very large grounds for the suburbs, almost three acres. Not only did we move in my things and the Mrs. but my stepdaughter's, too, including her dog, Samantha. Now Sam was an exceptional dog in many ways. She was supposedly, according to the vet's best guess, part Golden Retriever and part beagle (although we later found out she was a true breed of retriever from Nova Scotia.) She was adorable and eager to please. She frolicked in the snow and played endlessly, even in her later years. She loved people food the best, especially pickles and ice cream. Sam was very sensitive to peoples' feelings, always wanting to cuddle when you didn't feel good. One of the things that set her apart was her great insight into things easily overlooked, and her ability to communicate it in her own way.
The best example of her uncanny ability came about in an unusual way. When we first moved in, I took Sam for a tour around the yard, so that she would know where the edge of her territory was. Since there were no fences allowed in our neighborhood, it was important for her to know. She took it all in and carefully walked on the border without much help. The exception was on the southern edge, which had a dense line of trees on it. She walked along and just kept looking up at me with a furrowed brow. Time went by and Sam never strayed from our yard with one exception. A handful of times my southern neighbor would call us to complain that our dog was on his property. The last couple of times he wasn't very friendly about it, either. In each case, we would walk over and pick her up. She would have a baffled look, something we rarely saw, I would gently scold her for her errant behavior.
One day the cable company called and wanted our permission to survey the east and south property lines so they could stay in the right-of-way. We agreed, and they set to their task. To our utter amazement, we found that our southern property line was a good 15 feet behind the trees, exactly where Sam would be found walking around! The surveyors had a good laugh, we were elated, and Samantha had just been doing her job of border patrol.
What amazing things have your pet or someone's you know, done?
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| Buyer Beware When I was 16 years old, my Dad, who was, as I have said, English, took me to the Old Country to meet his family and to see the sights. It was a life changing experience for me in so many ways, and many more stories could be told. And no doubt shall. But for this tale I must remark that I liked really cool cars and I got an eyeful there. I especially had a penchant for hand built cars but not because of their status, but rather their beauty. They are an expression of art in their own right. One type of car caught my fancy. They were not common, even there. These were the Jaguar Mark X (Mark 10). Even by today's standards, they were breathtaking. In England they had a similar structure and finish to the Rolls Royce. I had never seen one in Dayton, Ohio and secretly wished that I could own one someday.
We returned home. Shortly after my 19th birthday, I was looking through the newspaper and to my amazement came across one listed for sale. You guessed it. I spent most of my savings to buy it. It was black lacquer with navy blue leather interior, burl walnut everywhere, a bar in the back with decanters and an AM/FM/SW radio. It had been lavishly maintained in perfect condition. It was a real joy which I had for over six years. When the odometer hit about 220,000 miles, I had to have some work done to it. I preferred to do my own work on it. When the master brake cylinder started to show signs of wear, I contacted the nearest dealer, 50 miles away to order one from England for $200.00. I reluctantly sent a check and waited. About two weeks later, a small package arrived at my home in Dayton, Ohio from England. Inside was an impressive carton that said "Genuine Jaguar Part". Inside was another box marked "General Motors Delco Products, Dayton, Ohio" I was stunned. I took the Delco part number and called the local parts store. I had already installed the part on the car but I was curious. When the clerk came back on the line he said it was the same as was used on the Chevy Nova...price? ...$15.00. What has cost you too much, too late? | | |
| Unexpected InvasionYears ago, we had a home with large grounds. Since my wife and I both loved gardening, it was inevitable that we would have plants poking out all over the place. We had sectioned off various places, one was a large patch in the back for the vegetables. Each year the size and varieties grew. My wife was keen on canning. She produced many memorable preserves for our table. Even today, the thought of her tomato jelly makes my mouth water.  Each year, while planning the garden, we would carefully choose varieties and locations for each kind. We would always add a couple of new types each time. As was our custom, the new additions were planted in the expanded areas along the borders. One year we decided among other things to plant a new variety of zucchini. Time went by and everything grew very well, helped along with generous heaping of droppings from our rabbit herd. We anxiously awaited the bounty.
We noted that this variety of zucchini was particularly vigorous. That was encouraging because my wife made the best bread and soups and salads and so forth from them. Each evening when we harvested tomatoes, snap peas, Lima beans, radishes, rhubarb, and so on. We would find an ever expanding quantity of zucchini. They started to spread out over the grass adjoining the garden. After a while, I began to take the surplus to work, where they were eagerly snapped up by those who had no green thumb, but good appetites. I took bushel baskets to our neighbors. I gave trunk-loads to my mother-in-law. Eventually, the zucchini covered the entire side yard, an area larger than the garden itself. My co-workers finally had their fill. Our larder was brimming with preserves, our freezer with packages. Even the local mission wanted no more. The neighbors would hide and pretend they weren't home. With great regret, I was resigned to heaping huge stacks on the compost pile. I even mowed down batches for green manure. At long last, one night toward October's end, gratefully, the first frost came, the invasion was over. Moral: Never go to the store hungry or plant more than one packet of zucchini! What has ever taken over your life? | | |
| What's in a Name?I spent many fascinating years doing basic research. One of the most
interesting labs had a lot of unique equipment, much of it specially
designed to collect specific types of data. Occasionally, however, one
would find relatively standard research test equipment in various
areas. This did not, however, mean they were commonly found outside a
laboratory. Engineers and scientists are, as a whole very practical.
They always try to keep things as simple as possible. Most of the time
the name for equipment is straightforward and descriptive. Sometimes,
however, equipment has a name that is as unique as one could imagine,
clearly setting it apart.
One such machine sat in a room of its own. It had originally
been designed for a special task, but had proven so versatile that many
more had been built and installed in labs all over the world. It was
produced by a small company in New England, I believe, literally in a
garage. At one point, due to a new research effort, it looked like we
might need a second machine. Our machine, which was the prototype,
however, didn't have a regular name. So when I called the company, I
described the machine and asked for literature on the currently
available model.
The man on the phone said that he had designed the original
machine and was more than happy to send information and be on call for
any questions that we had. Several days later, a thick packet arrived.
When I opened the literature, I had to laugh. Others curious about my
reaction came over to see what was so funny. Soon everyone was having a
good laugh. I just had to call the man at the company again.
Having an amiable chuckle, I felt relaxed right away, asking
for an explanation. He described how designing the original machine was
done under contract to accomplish a certain task. He had never
considered that the machine would be so successful that other labs
would want one. So, they hired a consultant, who said it was,
imperative, the machine have one-of-a-kind, catchy name. He spent weeks
trying to come up with something, to no avail. Discussing his
frustration with his wife one evening, he flippantly remarked that
perhaps he ought to let their toddler name the machine. Shortly
thereafter, the baby girl actually uttered something that caught his
imagination. He decided immediately that was surely special name no one
could easily forget. So in an instant, the machine would forever be
known as "Gleeble."
What unusual names have you come across?
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